


The Cyborgs-R-Us Support Group

by thudworm



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2020 [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Gen, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tony Stark Lives, discussion of past non-consensual body modification
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thudworm/pseuds/thudworm
Summary: Defeating Thanos left its scars on Tony. Which is why Rhodey invites him to join a very selective group, full of people who have similar scars. AKA The Cyborg Support Club.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark
Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619530
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50
Collections: Tony Stark Bingo 2020





	The Cyborgs-R-Us Support Group

**Author's Note:**

> Title: The Cyborgs-R-Us Support Group  
> Collaborator Name: @thudworm  
> Card Number: 3093  
> Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752108  
> Square Filled: T2- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder  
> Ship/Main Pairing: James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark  
> Rating: Teen  
> Major Tags: Post-Endgame, Tony Stark Lives AU, PTSD, minor Pepperony, discussion of past non-con body modification  
> Summary: Defeating Thanos left its scars on Tony. Which is why Rhodey invites him to join a very selective group, full of people who have similar scars. AKA The Cyborg Support Club.  
> Word Count: 3454

It had been several months after almost dying (“Yet again!”, as Pepper had yelled at him) before the army of doctors, nurses, and other medical staff had finally concluded Tony was unlikely to suddenly drop dead for no apparent reason, and allowed him to return home to continue his recovery and adjustment to his new state of being. 

If he was honest with himself, Tony hadn’t really expected to survive using the infinity gauntlet, so the loss of his right arm seemed a small price to pay to be waking up at all. That didn’t mean it wasn’t incredibly frustrating at times. Like the times he would go to reach for something with his right arm for half a second before he remembered. Or the phantom limb pain, an electrified burning sensation reminiscent of how it felt to use the gauntlet. It also brought back memories of when he had the arc reactor embedded in his chest- small tasks that he had been able to accomplish without a thought became difficult, painful, or just downright impossible to do without assistance. His centre of balance was thrown off by the lopsidedness of his upper body. He couldn’t use a knife and fork, or easily get dressed. But the thing he missed most was simply being able to hug his daughter with both arms. 

Even after he had been given his freedom, Tony was still subject to the whims of the veritable army of medical staff, an observation Pepper was not appreciative of. “You were in hospital, not a prison,” was a common response whenever he complained. 

Regardless of how he referred to it though, it took even longer after his release before they cleared him to do anything more strenuous than stroll around the lake. Such as, for example, being allowed to access his workshop. He did what he could, with FRIDAY’s assistance, to design schematics for a prosthetic arm, but there was so much of the creation process that could be done in the blueprint stage; most of the development work required hands-on testing, so to speak. Working one-handed to develop the prosthetic was an incredibly frustrating catch-22 situation-- he needed two working hands to get two working hands. 

In the end he resorted to asking for help from Princess Shuri of Wakanda to get the arm made. She had been the one responsible for crafting the new arm for Barnes, so it had been no trouble at all for her to do the bulk of the physical creating. But getting the arm built was only half the challenge. It took more than a week of wheedling, cajoling, and persuading before the medical team would agree to him trialling the arm, and even then only under strict observation.

The loss of his right arm was the most visible injury he’d suffered in that final fight, followed by the swathe of burns up and down that side of his body. But less visible was the damage that had been done to his internal organs. Humans weren’t made to channel that much power and energy, and Tony hadn’t exactly been kind to his body up until then. His heart bore the scars of his past sins (and the less said about the abuse he’d put his liver through, the better); but in the end he convinced them that being healthy enough to get the arm working meant he was healthy enough to be granted medical clearance. 

It may have been just a coincidence of timing, but Tony was pretty sure that the invitations to celebrate the official Grand Opening of the newly rebuilt Avengers Compound had been delayed until he was finally fully cleared by the docs. 

Tony had attended more than his fair share of parties in his 55 years of life, plenty of which he had only bothered to show up to because Pepper dragged him there (sometimes literally), but this one was unlike any of those other ones. 

It seemed like just yesterday that the sum total of the Avengers numbered just 6. He wasn’t sure when they had accumulated so many Avengers and Avengers-adjacent people, but every single one of them (even the ones who had to return from space to be there) made sure to seek him out to shake his hand and thank him for what he did to take down Thanos and put the universe back to rights. 

Barring Avengers missions, Rhodey had come to visit Tony regularly (at least once a week), but even his best friend made a point of seeking Tony out at the party. “Come find me after the party ends, I’ve got something important I want to talk to you about,” had been the rather cryptic message Rhodey had, and Tony spent the rest of the party intrigued about what it could possibly be. 

The party wound down fairly early compared to some of the Avengers previous soirées. The official reasoning was that it was because of the young newbies associated with the team, but he suspected his doctors had also made a point of reminding certain mother hens of his still recovering state. 

Tony thought he had heard Rhodey volunteering to deal with all the leftover food, so the kitchen was the first place he went to check for his platypus. He did find Rhodey, and Nebula as well. The way they both immediately stopped what they were doing when he walked in was a clear sign  _ something _ was up, but Tony had no clue what it could be.

“Should I be worried?” Tony asked with a laugh. “All this subterfuge to get me alone with the two of you. Is this a threesome thing, or a raiding me for spare parts thing?” He waggled the fingers of his right hand at them. 

Rhodey snorted and shook his head at Tony. “Closer to the second, but not exactly.”

“We have a group. For people like us,” Nebula said. “Whose bodies have been… modified. Altered.”

Huh. Tony wasn’t sure what he had been expecting to hear, but that definitely wasn’t on the list of possibilities. “Who else is in this little club?”

“It sorta started when Nebula and I got to talking, while you were off playing house with Pepper,” Rhodey teased. He gestured at his leg braces. “We realised we had some stuff in common, and it became a thing when she needed a hand with some malfunctioning cybernetic implants. Whenever Rocket was on-planet he’d sometimes join us too.”

“Two, sometimes three, people doesn’t exactly sound like a ‘group’ to me,” Tony said. 

“We have more members now,” Nebula said. “After Thanos’ defeat, the man, Barnes, with an arm like yours joined. Several of the Agents from SHIELD who sometimes have business at the Compound are also known to attend. I believe one of them has spoken of knowing you. Coulson.” 

Huh. 

Tony wasn’t sure how to feel about that. If anyone was stubborn enough to stay alive when they should have died, it would be Agent Agent. Tony himself should have died about a dozen times over given his line of work, so he knew full well what it took to out-stubborn death. There was clearly a story there, but now wasn’t the time. If Coulson really was alive he’d be here somewhere at the Compound, and Tony would get all the details one way or another. 

“So, when is the next Cyborgs-R-Us Support Group meeting happening?” Tony asked.

“There’s not exactly a set schedule, but we usually try and meet every week or two.”

“I think I can squeeze you all into my very busy schedule,” Tony said. “I’ll make a day of it- I’m sure War Machine has been feeling neglected lately without my loving touch.”

The door to the kitchen burst open as Morgan came running in, and Tony scooped her up into a hug. Being able to do that again properly, with two working arms, was something Tony would never take for granted again. 

“I was told to tell you we‘re leaving now,” she said. 

“The boss has spoken! Time for me to make an exit before I turn into a pumpkin.”

The entire trip home, Tony was occupied with thinking about what Rhodey and Nebula had said. He’d been through enough shit in his life to understand that, sooner or later, what had happened would start making itself known to him in unpleasant ways, and this time he needed to deal with it in a better way than before. For Morgan’s sake if nothing else. 

The thought of being in close proximity to Barnes, and discussing heavy shit, was no longer as distasteful as it would have been 6 years ago. It was hard to remain angry at a dead man, or, rather, dusted; the difference between dead and dusted had been more academic than anything during that 5 year stretch following Thanos’ success. Forgiveness wasn’t exactly the right word, it implied Barnes had had a choice, but Tony had made peace with the role Hydra had used him for. 

——

Tony’s first official reason to visit the Compound was to observe an Avengers training session so he could take notes on necessary upgrades. There were quite a few newbies on the training roster, most of them quite young, and they were all currently stuck using standard issue SHIELD gear. He had a basic idea of where to start based on their profiles, but nothing could compare to seeing first-hand exactly how they fought. 

Peter was all set with the Iron Spider suit Tony had created for him, back before everything went wrong; Kamala Khan was going to need an outfit that was as malleable as she was, Tony could probably repurpose some of the work he’d done on Bruce’s Hulk pants; and for new Hawkeye it would be easy enough to repurpose the arrows he’d originally designed for Clint.

Watching Rhodey flying around in the War Machine armour was tough. There was nothing he wanted more than to be out there too, experiencing the pure freedom that only flight could bring. His medical team had been careful not to make any guarantees about how complete his recovery would be, but Tony was determined that, one way or another, he would return to the skies. 

At multiple times throughout the session Tony had tried to talk to Barnes, but the man had an infuriating ability to be busy talking to someone else every damn time. It was clear Barnes had been trying to avoid him, while not  _ looking _ like he was avoiding him. 

“Barnes!” Tony called out before he could sneak through the door. “Hold up. Have you got any feedback about your gear? Aside from the arm. Even though you could say I have first-hand experience, I know better than to risk being yelled at by the Princess.”

Barnes snorted at that, and Tony figured he’d probably also been on the receiving end of more than one of her lectures about how the arm was ‘a work of art and you need to treat it with more respect.’

“I’ll think about the gear. But you should call me Bucky. Or James, if you want. ‘Specially if we’re gonna be doing the group thing”

Tony nodded, and  Barnes Bucky turned and left. It was the first real conversation Tony’d had with the man, and it hadn’t resulted in anyone trying to kill the other, so the odds of it not turning into a massive disaster later tonight were good. 

The Avengers eating dinner together was as raucous an event as Tony remembered from years ago. There was enough food to feed a small army, not that it stopped the good natured squabbling over who called dibs on which items, or who stole food from who’s plate. 

He and Rhodey decided to kill the couple of hours between dinner and cyborg group by watching a few episodes of Star Trek together in Rhodey’s room. It was just like when they shared a dorm room many, many years ago. Tony made a mental note to do this more often- it had been far too long since he’d last spent time with Rhodey without some pressing issue to be dealt with lurking in the background. 

Caught up in the episode they were watching, Tony and Rhodey both lost track of the time. Barnes, Nebula, and a SHIELD Agent Tony hadn’t met before were already waiting for them in the conference room they’d co-opted for the group meeting.

“I am glad to see we do not need to arrange a search party to find you,” Nebula said.

“Maybe I should talk to the princess, get her to install a watch in that arm of yours,” Bucky added. 

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up,” Tony grumbled. 

The SHIELD agent, who’s name Tony didn’t know, made a comment about Tony and Bucky having matching arms.

“How dare you! We don’t match at all,” Tony said, mock-offended. His tone had Barnes hunching in on himself, which was not at all what Tony intended. “We’re mirror images. Well, Barnes wishes he was this devilishly handsome, he’d need to tidy that scruff first, and his colour scheme isn’t as great as mine, but maybe with some serious effort he could come close to achieving this much greatness.”

Tony’s over the top self-aggrandisement had the effect he was going for- everyone was laughing and the tension in the room was broken. 

“So, is this meant to be exclusive to the cyborg thing, or is general PTSD fair game?” Tony asked. He was confident in thinking all of the Avengers had PTSD, even before they became Avengers and faced all the bullshit that no human was equipped to deal with. Hell, it seemed like having a traumatic background was a necessary qualification for becoming an Avenger in the first place. But this group thing was limited to cybernetically enhanced individuals, and Tony wasn’t sure how strictly limited that was going to make the conversations happening here. 

“To borrow some advice Sam gave me a while ago, there aren’t exactly rules about this shit,” Barnes answered. “And I can’t talk for anyone else, but I know I’m not the only one who ends up having their ‘non-consensual body augmentation’ blending into everything else. Like, even when the nightmares are about shit that happened before I fell from that damn train, my brain still manages to make it about the arm somehow.”

Tony nodded, and saw Rhodey and Nebula nodding as well. He and Rhodey had spoken about it before, the way nightmares had a knack for dragging your worst memories and fears out of you, and then combining them into a new level of hell. 

“I get it. Not so much with the arm, at least not yet, but even after I no longer had the arc reactor lodged in my sternum.”

Tony’s offhand mention of the arc reactor prompted demands to explain from the group members who had no idea, either because they were from offworld, or had been frozen for most of the relevant years. It was strange to be talking about it to people who had no idea, because it had been such an integral part of his life.

“It’s too bad I didn’t have this group around then. Maybe I would have handled the palladium poisoning situation better,” Tony mused. He wasn’t exactly proud of his behaviour back then, but he hadn’t felt like there was anyone who would understand even if he’d tried to explain. 

“That’s why this group grew out of Nebula and me talking about our shit,” Rhodes said. “So, no matter what, we have the option of talking to someone we know gets it.”

—-

Everyone with training, or personal experience, said the same thing about trauma- it often wasn’t logical, and recovery wasn’t linear. But even though he’d been down this path before, the first time it really, truly hit home for Tony that this was his new reality took him by surprise. 

He was at the Avengers Compound to help overhaul their security systems, which was too big a job to be completed in just one day, hence his need to stay there overnight. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but the first night he’d slept alone since being released from the hospital was also the first night he woke in a cold sweat, haunted by a nightmare he could only half remember. Even if he’d wanted to try to fall back asleep, he knew there was no point. His right arm felt like it was on fire, and there was nothing he could do to lessen the pain other than just riding it out. 

Tony had optimistically thought that maybe he wasn’t going to be one of the unlucky amputees who experienced severe phantom limb pain after his recovery was done, but tonight was proving him wrong in the worst way. 

Normally on a night where nightmares had destroyed his desire to sleep, Tony would head to his workshop and find something to tinker with as a distraction, but he had yet to establish a space for himself here at the compound. Coffee seemed like the next best option.

Tony had expected the kitchen to be empty given it was 4 in the morning; usually at that time even the night owls had gone to bed, and the early birds typically weren’t up yet. But standing there, staring blankly into the fridge like it held the secrets of the universe, was Bucky. 

“Rough night?” Tony asked. He had to stifle a laugh when Bucky leapt a foot in the air, it wasn’t everyday a mere mortal managed to sneak up on one of the members of the team with enhanced senses. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Bucky grunted out. 

“Me too.” 

The silence between them was oddly peaceful as Tony waited for the coffee machine to finish doing its thing. Strangely enough, he was glad that Bucky was the member of the Cyborg Support Group he’d stumbled on first. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Rhodey or Nebula, or any of the others, because he did trust them, but. 

There was something to be said for the degree of similarity in experiences between him and Bucky. There were unique challenges to be faced when you were working with a prosthetic arm, even one as advanced as he and Bucky were both equipped with, and it was nice to have someone who just got it, without Tony having to try to find the words to explain it. 

Coulson was also a possibility, as far as shared arm experience, but Tony didn’t quite trust him the same after discovering he’d faked his death and never thought to inform any of the Avengers he was alive. He understood that it was a necessity at the time, but when he still hadn’t told them more than a few years later, it rankled. 

The coffee machine beeped to indicate it was done, and Tony was prepared to leave Bucky to his thoughts and find somewhere else to drink his coffee, but he stopped when Bucky broke the silence. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Sure.” Tony was surprised by the offer, but maybe he shouldn’t have been. He and Bucky were maybe not best friends, but they’d forged a strong bond within the Cyborg Group. 

Bucky abandoned his silent interrogation of the fridge and followed Tony over to the sitting area. There was an awkward silence for several minutes before Bucky hesitatingly started talking about the different arms he’d had; the one Hydra had given him, spending time with just one arm while in Wakanda, and then the arm Shuri had created for him. 

Tony let him vent, and then took his own turn, talking about the unfairness of the pain he was experiencing. Neither of them was looking for advice, but the chance to be heard was more valuable. Neither of them realised just how long they’d been sitting there, chatting, until they were interrupted by Steve and Sam coming back from their morning run. 

Tony could see the look of concern Steve and Sam shared with each other as they approached the sitting area, and he understood why. They had no way of knowing that Tony and Bucky had developed an understanding within the Cyborg Support Group, which was, as of this morning, now approaching something of a friendship. 

He gave Bucky a look, and raised his right arm. With a grin Bucky raised his left arm, and the high-five they shared clanged just as loudly as Tony had hoped. 

The look of despair Steve and Sam shared that time was for the exact opposite reason. “Oh, no,” Sam said. “Now there are two of them.”

**Author's Note:**

> The last little scene at the end was somewhat inspired by this hilarious art https://chloesimaginationthings.tumblr.com/post/613223330639659008/tony-and-bucky-become-goblins-if-left


End file.
